Chaos For A Little While

Everything feels chaotic at the moment. Nothing is routine, it’s all up in the air.

We are getting close to the finishing work on our new house, but now it seems as if there are a million things to do at the same time.

I am now officially a supervisor at work and I don’t know what that means on top of what I was already doing.

I keep trying to stay away from mindlessly browsing the internet, but every day I fail at it.

Things are changing and if experience has taught me anything it’s that there will be a period of chaos. It might not last for long, but it will be a struggle.

What history hasn’t told me is whether the chaos is real, or all in my head. I am willing to admit that there might not be anything that is truly out of hand, but it appears so to me.

Eventually things will get better and I won’t be able to remember how frustrating this period is.

Eventually, I will decide to do it all over again.

Know Your Why

Recently I have been struggling with some of the things I’m trying to do. Mainly, to stop spending time online. It occurred to me this morning, that I never spend much time thinking about why I am trying to spend less time online and that it might be important to do so. Which is what I am doing here.

Why am I reducing the amount of time I spend online?

1. I want to have more time to do other things

We all have the same 24 hours in a day and if I spend 12 of them stuck in front of a computer, or with a phone in my face, then that takes away from time I could spend doing other things. It is time that I could be spending with my family; playing with my children or hanging out with my wife. It is time I could be writing, or reading books.

There are things in my life that I want to do more than browsing random articles on Wikipedia, or finding out what the latest tech news is.

I am not saying that everything online is a waste of time, but, in general, it is a value judgement that I am happy to make. I am better off reading a book, writing, or spending time with my family than almost anything that I could be doing on the internet.

2. It becomes a compulsion that I struggle to control

I am not very good at maintaining balance with things like this. I tend to swing from one extreme to the other. I get caught up in a cycle of constantly refreshing pages, wasting entire days. I have tried, but I can never seem to achieve a comfortable balance.

It’s not just bad stuff though. When I eat healthy, I eat super healthy, but as soon as I try to find a balance, it all falls apart. That is why I can’t do “cheat days”. I tend towards the more destructive behaviour pattern, but can usually hold myself in check if I don’t waver.

Which means I have a choice: I can either be all in on wasting time online, or I can be all out.

Why am I switching to analogue tools?

1. I believe they produce better results

After what I have said about the internet and wasting time, it should be clear that I am prone to distractions. When I say analogue tools, I don’t necessarily mean analogue. What I actually mean is tools that have one purpose, one task for which I can use them. So, pen and paper are analogue tools in both senses of the word. However, I would also count the Alphasmart Neo 2, which I use to write second drafts, as an analogue tool, because the only thing you can use it for is writing.

I am prone to distractions, so trying to write on a device that also has free access to the internet, is a recipe for disaster. Analogue tools are less distracting and that should mean that they produce better results. It stands to reason that what I write will be better if I am not distracted by other things.

Which is good, because analogue tools also tend to be slower. When I write on a computer I can get around 2,000 words an hour. With pen and paper I get about half that. When I write slower, I tend to produce better quality. However, in order to still produce the same quantity, I need to spend more time actually writing, which takes me back to 1. I want to have more time to do other things.

It is not only creative tools that are better. I consume better in an analogue format: I listen to full albums on CD, whereas I skip around endlessly when I have access to a streaming music service. I take in information in books better when I read them on paper, as opposed to on an eReader. I also get to enjoy cover art for both.

I have flip-flopped between analogue and digital for task management and am now back on analogue, using something like a Bullet Journal. I am considering switching back to DVDs rather than streaming. I am looking forward to having physical photographs rather than just looking at them on a screen.

There are other avenues where analogue could be an improvement. It is an area that I am still exploring, but based on current results, I believe that being analogue first is the way to go.

2. They are often cheaper

Now that all apps seem to be switching to a subscription model, it is cheaper for me to buy notebooks and pens rather than pay a monthly amount. This isn’t a criticism of app makers, they need to make money as well, but cost is a consideration for me and I would rather spend my money on a notebook and pen than a collection of pixels on a screen.

There is also the upgrade cycle, which shows no sign of slowing. I have lost count of the number of times I justified a new computer or phone because I needed it to run the latest version of an app. I don’t have to worry about that with pen and paper because that technology is as mature as it’s likely to get. Since I stepped away from the brink of becoming a fountain pen user, it is even cheaper.

Also, I can buy things second hand. CDs are a lot cheaper than Spotify when bought this way, with the added bonus that I could sell them on at a later date if I decide to.

I need to remember that there are reasons for me doing these things, that it isn’t just an arbitrary test of my willpower. Not only will it make the process easier, but it will also allow me to make future decisions that align with my philosophy.

The Analogue Method

I tend to think in terms of the “Analogue Method”, even when that name doesn’t quite fit. It is still a work in progress. There are still many digital tools in my life.

To begin with, ask; What is the earliest version of this I can roll back to?

Using music as an example, I was paying for a streaming service. The earliest version of listening to music that it was reasonable to roll back to was records, and I certainly liked the idea of that.

The problem is that I don’t have a record player in my car, and that is where I do most of my music listening.

The earliest convenient version then was CDs. Once I’d done that, I saw that there were many benefits which I hadn’t expected.

  • My car is older, so the ability to stream audio from my phone is an aftermarket add-on that takes a long time to start working. CDs are instant.
  • I listen to full albums now, instead of skipping between every song that exists.
    The sound quality is better.
  • If I buy second hand CDs then they are cheaper.
  • I own the music, my ability to access it isn’t based on paying a subscription, and will not go away once I stop subscribing.

It is difficult to think of many negatives.

And as time goes by, I will apply this approach to other areas of my life. It is surprising how few digital tools are an improvement on the analogue version that existed before.

Tools of Change

Our ways of thinking, perceiving, and acting, we now know, are not entirely determined by our genes. Nor are they entirely determined by our childhood experiences. We change them through the way we live – and, as Nietzsche sensed, through the tools we use.

The Shallows, Nicholas Carr

When I first started writing stories I used paper and pen. That was the most natural way for me to work.

Years later I moved onto a computer and then that became the natural way to work.

Now I have returned to using paper and pen and I can see that using a computer for so long has changed me.

When I’m using a pen I write longer sentences more slowly. I feel more connected to what appears on the page because I have put it there.

Writing on paper was not a specific goal I had when I began to change the way I used computers. My main ambition was directed at the way I consumed, rather than created. But it is a welcome side-effect. I enjoy the process of creation a lot more now.

It has also made me question my goals regarding consumption. If it is the medium, rather than the content, that is the problem, then is there a different way I can consume?

This morning I set up an RSS reader so I can see if that works for me. It might not, or it might need more tweaking. Maybe I will need to print the things that I decide to read.

It’s possible that I don’t have to quit the whole internet and instead I can find a way to use it that works for me.

Head in the Clouds

I used to live with my head in the clouds, dreaming about stories and characters.

Then the cloud became a place where data is stored and I went to live there as well.

The meaning changed and, without meaning to, I also changed.

I don’t want to live inside a computer anymore.

Tools of the Trade

I am eternally curious about what other writers use and how they use it. For a lot of people now that is a computer and software program, but I’m back to using pens and paper now, so mine looks a little different. This is a photo taken at about 6 o’clock this morning in the middle of working at the dining room table.

  1. Narrow Ruled Paper (no margin): I buy this in bulk. It’s nothing fancy and I use it for all planning and first draft writing.
  2. Pilot V5 Hi-Techpoint 0.5 pens (black): I do pretty much all my writing with these pens. I have used fountain pens in the past, but find them too fussy for longform writing. Occassionally I use other colours of the V5, but this is my go to because it’s nice to write with and you can buy them pretty much everywhere.
  3. File Folders: Every project gets its own folder. These are good for a whole short story but novels tend to spread over multiple folders. The colours have no significance.
  4. Moleskine Pocket Diary: I use this as a log book. I just list out what I’ve done each day. Also I track the books I’ve read and how much time I’ve spent writing.
  5. Moleskine Pocket Cahier: I always have one of these in my pocket. The stickers are so I can quickly see which side is the front.
  6. Pencil Case: mostly full of Pilot V5 pens.
  7. Coffee: I get up at 0530 in the morning, coffee is an essential tool.

There are other things I use at different stages of the process, these are just what I happen to have out on the table when the photo was taken.

Detectives and Criminals

[To] point out that some people are destitute while others are prosperous is rather like claiming that the world contains both detectives and criminals. So it does; but this obscures the truth that there are detectives because there are criminals…

Why Marx Was Right, Terry Eagleton

Wealth and poverty are not immutable conditions defined by nature. They are part of a system that has been created by mankind that can be changed by mankind. The people who claim otherwise tend to be the same people who stand to benefit most from maintaining the status quo.

Day One

I don’t know who this website is for and I don’t know what I’m going to talk about. My plan is to write here daily (Monday-Friday) and see what comes out of it.

This is Day One. We will see where we are later.